De-escalation Process


Deescalation Process

Please read this carefully and watch the video.


Thank you for agreeing to be a part of the Self Pleasure Graduates Crisis Support Team.

This procedure has been put in place to support the women taking the Self Pleasure Graduates programme. The programme creates a structure for women to become sex coaches and deeply embody the work of sexuality. 

Right now sexuality is still considered taboo and shameful by a lot of society, therefore this work can be dense while working our way through the layers of conditioning. 

Your role as a crisis support team member is primarily to listen and offer support by referring them to myself or another member of my team.

I ask that throughout these calls you do not do any of the following:

  • Coach 

  • Counsel

  • Offer therapy of any kind. Including energy work such as reiki etc

  • Open up the issue to explore

  • Offer opinions 

  • Share your own journey 

  • Share ideas of what they should do

The procedure is to simply allow for their process to unfold by using skills such as

  • Active listening

  • Paraphrasing

  • Empathising

  • Reflect on the feelings you can hear they are sharing.

As you listen to their story it will be important that you remain calm and centred no matter what they are sharing. Remaining neutral in your judgements of what is occurring.

If you feel as though you may be triggered or struggling to hear what the person is sharing please use the following tools which are indicated in the video.

  • Breath in through the nose and out the mouth

  • Havening technique

  • Stroking the hands slowly while observing your breath

  • (Post session you are welcome to reach out for support by emailing if you need it)

In the unlikely circumstance that they are complaining about the course it is again important not to offer opinions or agree or disagree with their thoughts. Remaining neutral and ensuring them that the information will be passed on to myself and my team is crucial.

Phone calls must be kept to under 30 minutes. The ideal length of a phone call will be 15 minutes.

Within that time the focus will be to:

  • Assess the situation

  • Gather relevant information (e.g. where are they, what is happening in this moment)

  • Ask them to sit down somewhere safe. 

  • If they are struggling to articulate what is happening, you can ask them to name
    * 5 objects they can see in the room
    * 4 things they can feel in this moment
    * 3 things they can hear
    * 2 things they can smell
    * 1 thing they can taste.

  • Listen

  • Reflect their feelings to them

  • Ask them if there is anything they need in this moment

  • Close the call by letting them know the next steps to take.

Outcomes for the call

It will be your role to assess the course of action that is needed for the graduate you are speaking with.

You are only able to do one call with the graduate and if you believe they need more support you will refer them to Luna Black my emotional support team co-ordinator by emailing me at

Process to end the call:

  • Let them know that the team at The Institute of New Paradigm Intimacy will be notified of our call

  • A support team member will contact them within the week to check in on their progress

  • Ask them if they have any requests or concerns they would like to share before you release them

  • Thank them for reaching out and sharing their journey with you.

In joining the crisis team you agree to being contacted via the phone number you have provided until we hear any different.

Graduates will be advised to only call you’re number the one time. If you miss the call you are welcome to return the call.

Graduates will also be advised that they can only contact you once. After the initial point of contact they will be supported by the team.


On ending the call please email and answer these questions.

Subject of the email: Emotional Support Team Call.

Name: **Enter your name**

Name of student:

Length of phone call:

Date and time the call was taken:

Summarise the issue in 2 - 3 bullet point statements:

Outcome of the call:


Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of this movement. The kindness and compassion you offer will continue to change lives and I will be forever grateful for that.

Sending love